VIC DANA

[DarkoN]

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[DarkoN]

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[Bojan NS]

http://euriconobre.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/google2084.jpg

[mijat]

Dosao novi general na duznost u tvrdjavu legije stranaca u pustinji. Krenuo on prvi dan u obilazak tvrdjave i dok je obilazio ugleda mazgu zavezanu za stup. Upita on najblizeg strazara cemu sluzi ta mazga.
- Gospodine generale mazga je za zabavu vojnika! Znate dugo smo tu bez zena...
- Pa onda joj sredite malo to mjesto, napravite joj nadstresnicu i slicno.
I ode general dalje. Nakon mjesec dana u pustinji general nije mogao izdrzati i odluci se on malo zabaviti sa mazgom. Naredi strazaru da je drzi, a on obavi posao. Dok se oblacio, olaksan i zadovoljan, upita on strazara:
- Reci mi da li i obicni vojnici to rade ovako kao mi generali?
- Pa gospodine generale, obicni vojnici inace zajase mazgu i odjasu do najblizeg naselja sa javnom kucom

[DarkoN]

Dosao novi general na duznost u tvrdjavu legije stranaca u pustinji. Krenuo on prvi dan u obilazak tvrdjave i dok je obilazio ugleda mazgu zavezanu za stup. Upita on najblizeg strazara cemu sluzi ta mazga.
- Gospodine generale mazga je za zabavu vojnika! Znate dugo smo tu bez zena...
- Pa onda joj sredite malo to mjesto, napravite joj nadstresnicu i slicno.
I ode general dalje. Nakon mjesec dana u pustinji general nije mogao izdrzati i odluci se on malo zabaviti sa mazgom. Naredi strazaru da je drzi, a on obavi posao. Dok se oblacio, olaksan i zadovoljan, upita on strazara:
- Reci mi da li i obicni vojnici to rade ovako kao mi generali?
- Pa gospodine generale, obicni vojnici inace zajase mazgu i odjasu do najblizeg naselja sa javnom kucom

[DarkoN]

[DarkoN]

Zene se dijele na 5 skupina:
- NEVINA: ne da nikom.
- DJEVOJKA: da samo decku.
- ZENA: da samo muzu i ljubavniku.
- KURVA: da svima.
- PROKLETA KURVA: da svima samo meni ne...

[DarkoN]

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[01xxx01]

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[01xxx01]

Dosao Mujo kod doktora i zali se:
"Doktore, poplavilo mi jaje, sta da radim?"
Kaze mu doktor:
"Nista, moracemo amputirati!" i doktor mu odreze jaje.
Za dva dana dolazi Mujo i opet se zali:
"Doktore, poplavilo mi i drugo jaje?"
"Nista, amputiracemo..." i doktor odreze i drugo jaje.
Za dva dana opet Mujo dolazi:
"Doktore poplavila mi i kita!?"
"Ma amputacija samo..." doktor ce otresito i noz u ruke i cap.
Za dva dana opet dolazi Mujo:
"Doktore, ja ne znam sta cu, meni je sada i noga poplavila?"
Kad ce doktor na to:
"Mladicu, da tebi ne pustaju hlace boju?"

[01xxx01]

Sjedi baba u tramvaju preko puta jednog mladica.
Mladic zvace zvaku, a baba ce njemu:
"Dzabe ti meni pricas, sinko, ja tebe nista ne cujem"

[01xxx01]

sa konvencije ginekologa  ;)

[DarkoN]

sa konvencije ginekologa  ;)

[01xxx01]

The Importance of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell he is.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing....

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there....

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them..

The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they'll say, 'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,......
just getting over the hill.

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.


Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

[DarkoN]

The Importance of Walking

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise', I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them..