VIC DANA

[Bojan NS]

hahahaha dobar :D

a znatel sta ce bit kad se BiH ukinu vize, bit ce ko je zadnji nek ugasi svjetlo 

Kupite fazone od Srbije! 

[Ⱨᕕ尺ɨ丂۝₦(° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

eki to...a mozda vi kupite od nas    ne biste se vi sjetili ovog prije bosanca nema sanse  :P

[mijat]

Zaposli se Fata, dobije svoj kompjuter, radi svakodnevno na njemu, sve ide super.
Medjutim, jedan dan se razboli i ne dodje na posao, a njenim kolegama treba nesto s njenog kompjutera, ali ne znaju lozinku (password).
Zovu oni Fatu: "Fato, koja ti je lozinka na racunaru?"
Kaze Fata: "Velkom"
Probaju oni 'WELLCOME' - nece. Probaju 'VELKOM' - nece. 'VELLCOME', 'WELCOME' - nista nece.
Zovu oni Fatu ponovo: "Fato, kazi nam koliko slova ima ova tvoja lozinka?"
"Pa jedno", kaze Fata.
"Pa kako jedno, pobogu?!", pitaju kolege opet.
"Pa vel'ko M!"

[01xxx01]

Avaz:

[Ⱨᕕ尺ɨ丂۝₦(° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

body

[mijat]

Dedi je 18 godisnji unuk koji stalno sedi pred kompjuterom poceo posteno ici na zivce pa mu pridje i rece: "E, kad sam bio tvojih godina, isao sam s prijateljima u Trst, upali smo u prvi bordel, sve im pojeli, sve popili, isprobali sve kurve, konobaru popisali sank i otisli bez placanja !"
Malomu se ideja jako dopala. Vrati se za dve nedelje sav modar i pretucen, zamotane glave, pa ga deda upita: "Kog si vraga to radio?" "Tja, isto kao ti, isao sam s prijateljima u Trst, upali smo u prvi bordel, sve im pojeli, sve popili, isprobali sve kurve, konobaru popisali sank i kad smo hteli otici bez placanja dosli su odnekud tri gorile i ubili boga u nama !"
"Pa dobro, s kim si to isao u Trst ?", upita deda...
"S Kon-Tikijem," odgovori decko, "a ti?"
"Pa, s partizanima..."

[md]

body

[Ⱨᕕ尺ɨ丂۝₦(° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

haahahhah OBA SU PREDOBRA :D hahaha 

[brera]

body

[brera]

Mu¾ i ¾ena u krevetu, izmeðu seksa ¾ena mu¾u poka¾e rogove.
Mu¾: "©ta ti to znaæi?"
®ena: "Sav si vra¾ji danas u krevetu!"
Poslije kraèeg odmora nastave sa radnjama, ali je sad mu¾ dolje a ¾ena gore.
Sad mu¾ ¾eni poka¾e rogove.
®ena: "Jeli to znaæi da sam i ja sva vra¾ja u seksu?"
Mu¾: "Ne, to znaæi, da si te¾ka ko krava!"

[Ⱨᕕ尺ɨ丂۝₦(° ͜ʖ ͡°)]

Mu¾ i ¾ena u krevetu, izmeðu seksa ¾ena mu¾u poka¾e rogove.
Mu¾: "©ta ti to znaæi?"
®ena: "Sav si vra¾ji danas u krevetu!"
Poslije kraèeg odmora nastave sa radnjama, ali je sad mu¾ dolje a ¾ena gore.
Sad mu¾ ¾eni poka¾e rogove.
®ena: "Jeli to znaæi da sam i ja sva vra¾ja u seksu?"
Mu¾: "Ne, to znaæi, da si te¾ka ko krava!"

haaaaaaaahahahahahahh

[mijat]

Sjede gradjevinski radnici Englez, Francuz i Mujo na 20 katu zgrade koja se gradi i otvaraju paketice sa doruckom:
Englez: "Fuck it! Opet mi je Mary napravila tost sa putrom i sirom. Vec 20 godina mi pravi isto svaki dan. Ako mi i sutra smjesti isto, skacem dolje da se ubijem!"
Francuz: "Mon Dieu! I meni je Jacqueline opet napravila baget sa majonezom, brijem i gljivama. Ako sutra bude isto, solidarno skacem i ja!"
Mujo: "Jebo mater, evo u mene opet neki glupi hljeb sa marmeladom! Ako i sutra bude isto, vala eto i mene za vama dolje!"
Naravno, sutradan kao i do tada, svi imaju isto za dorucak. Skoci Englez, skoci Francuz, i nas Mujo hrabro za njima.
Na sahrani njih trojice stoje Mary, Jacqueline i Fata:
Mary: "Dear God! Da smo samo znale sta ih tisti. Da su nam bar jednom rekli da ne vole jesti uvijek isto. Oh, mucenici jadni. Pa napravila bih neki drugi sendvic. (Smrc)"
Jacqueline: "Da, draga moja (smrc), i ja bih mom muzu napravila nesto drugo; da sam samo znala..."
Fata: "Jes' vala... (pauza). Samo ne znam sto skoci Mujo. On je vazda sam spremo svoj dorucak..."

[01xxx01]

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a boxx of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[DarkoN]

It was the mailman's last day on the job after 35 years of carrying the mail through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
When he arrived at the first house on his route he was greeted by the whole family there, who congratulated him and sent him on his way with a big gift envelope.
At the second house they presented him with a boxx of fine cigars. The folks at the third house handed him a selection of terrific fishing lures.
At the fourth house he was met at the door by a strikingly beautiful woman in a revealing negligee. She took him by the hand, gently led him through the door, and led him up the stairs to the bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever experienced.
When he had had enough they went downstairs, where she fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, potatoes, ham, sausage, blueberry waffles, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
As she was pouring, he noticed a dollar bill sticking out from under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for words," he said, "but what's the dollar for?"
"Well," she said, "last night, I told my husband that today would be your last day, and that we should do something special for you. I asked him what to give you."
He said, "Fuck him, give him a dollar."
The lady then said, "The breakfast was my idea."

[md]

Prelaze reku Isus, Papa i Èak Noris... Krene prvi Isus i, korak po korak, preðe! Za njim krene Èak i on preðe bez problema... Krene Papa i, na prvom koraku upadne u vodu! Gledaju to Isus i Èak Noris, pa se Isus smiluje i ka¾e: "Je li, Èak, ¾ao mi ga... Da mu ka¾emo gde su daske?"
A Èak ga pogleda mrtav ozbiljan: "KOJE DASKE?"